


Dirty Work

by BSnows



Category: clexa - Fandom
Genre: Confused!Lexa, Crack, F/F, Humor, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-12 08:45:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7094878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BSnows/pseuds/BSnows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Lexa."</p><p>"What? We gon bang. Bitch."</p><p>"Who did this to you?"</p><p>Lexa looks down.</p><p>"Octavia."</p><p>Clarke raises her eyebrows, presses her lips together and nodds her head.</p><p>"I'll kill her."</p><p>or</p><p>The Clexa fic where Lexa is very confused all the time and very in love with Clarke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> REALLY SILLY FIC ALERT.
> 
> I don't regret anything. Maybe a little bit because it's extremely silly, but I had fun writing it lol.

"Did you want to see me?" Octavia enters Lexa's tent. The commander is sitting on a large narrow table that has only two seats on the edges, her elbows resting upon the surface.

"I need your... _Expertise_."

Octavia smirks. Lexa points the empty seat with her hand, suggesting Octavia to join her, but she walks to Lexa's throne instead and sits on it slowly. The girl puts her two index fingers together and presses them against her lips.

"I am listening."

"Clarke says some words that make me confuse and I only know it's sexual because of the way she looks at me", she says. "Why would she call me daddy? I am not her father. I'm worried, Octavia, Clarke's smarter than that."

"So gay."

"Shut up. I really need your help. _Please_."

It is obvious how nervous and serious Lexa is. Octavia couldn't help but think it's cute that the great Heda, Commander of the 12 clans is this desperate for her lover's satisfaction.

"Last night Clarke said "go down on me" and it made me so mad," Lexa continues "is that something you do often in space? To be greedy? I already made a vow, Octavia, how many more does that woman want?"

All that Lexa could hear after that was Octavia dying laughing. The commander is confused.

"Oh my God, this is worse than I thought. Ok, do you want to sweep Clarke off her feet?" Octavia finally says after some embarrassing seconds. Lexa looks at her confused again and the other girl snorts "Gosh, do you want to make her pussy beg for your attention or not?"

"I am listening."

* * *

Later that night, Clarke comes home after haunting with some grounders. She is now one of the most talented hunters there is. She is so tired and covered in dirt, all she wants is to take a bath and have a good night of sleep cuddling Lexa.  
  
As she walks through the gate, a grounder stops her.

"Heda needs to see you at the Upper Tent"

"Come on, now?"

"Something _very_ important."

Clarke looks up for a moment, taking a deep breath.

"Thank you, Helip. The rest of you guys can take our food to the meat tent. Please."

The Upper Tent is actually just a big tent, part of the camp they were living at the moment. Some clan did something stupid and now they had to keep an eye on everything, again, and that used to make Clarke very annoyed. There was a little mountain near the place that gave them a better view of the territory, they built a tent there so Heda could do her job properly. Business only. But in some cases it was also Lexa and Clarke's secret love shack.

Besides the main room with a big table, chairs and red curtains, Lexa commanded there to be a bedroom and a room for a huge wooden bathtub. But, you know, business.

"Not today. Not today."

Clarke keeps repeating it to herself while she walks up the little mountain. She is  _so_ tired, she had hunt some big ass animals, she was PMSing, she loves to fuck Lexa but the only crave in her body now is for water and soap.

And it is only when she was a couple of steps away from the the Upper Tent that she realizes a little smoke coming out of it. Clarke's mouth opens in shock. She shouts, still outside the tent.

"LEXA, how many times have I told you NOT TO SMOKE WEED WITHOUT M-"

Clarke stops talking as soon as she enters the tent. Lexa is stepping on a big piece of cloth, that once was a piece of the curtain, to put out a last insisting flame. Clarke glances around the place, there are flowers and candles all around, but it's a mess. There is some sort of dead animal too, near a curtain that was previously attacked many times by a sword. Lexa finally looks up at Clarke, who was still in shock. The commander is wearing a sexy black night gown, but there is sweat dripping from her face, probably because of the event that had happened a few minutes ago. Lexa slides her fingers through her braids, trying to act as normal as possible, and leans over the table.

"Hi baby" her voice is deep, it was clear she was trying too hard on that.

"What the _fuck_ , Lexa."

Clarke shakes her hand to try to get the smoke away from that amazing view. She gives a few steps towards the other girl, twins her fingers through her braids while softly stroking the other hand up and down her girl's tattooed arm.

"I was trying to make you a romantic surprise, I heard that's what you do when skykru want to have hot sex..." the brunette stops talking for a moment, her voice sounds serious, then she straightens the posture of her back "But everything went wrong. I failed. Starting with this raccoon that scared me a lot. Big time."  
  
Lexa gives a quick smile and so did Clarke.

"Big time? Someone's learning some new words, I see."

"I am trying. I do anything for you, Clarke" Lexa takes the blonde's hand and kisses her fingertips "In fact, I would do you too, anytime."

Suddenly, Clarke's body isn't tired anymore.

"You're SMOKING hot, did you know that? " before Clarke could kiss Lexa, the commander laughs. Even though she didn't get it right.

"Smoking hot like a bitch, am I right?" Lexa says almost whispering it and then she subtly gives a smug smile and laughs through her nose.

"Oh..." Clarke narrows her eyes playfully "What about a bath, huh? Will you be my bitch there?" the blonde says close to the other girl's ear while pressing her hips against hers.

Lexa swallows. She puts her head back so Clarke could kiss and suck her neck. Her fingers tangles in the blonde's hair and she pulls it a little bit, making Clarke smile. Clarke presses her lips against Lexa's, kissing them roughly.

"Yeah... Hmm... I will be your bitch like a bitch."

Clarke stops. She looks at Lexa, who has a forced smirk and a slight look of guilt and regret on her face.

"I mean, I want you to be my daddy so we can do the do forever-" though Lexa is seriously hot and cute, Clarke puts a hand on the other girl's face and looks at her very concerned.

"Lexa."

"Whip this pussy, fill me up and ride me good."

"Lexa."

"What? We gon bang. Bitch."

"Who did this to you?"

Lexa looks down.

"Octavia."

Clarke raises her eyebrows, presses her lips together and nodds her head.

"I'll kill her."


	2. Chapter 2

_Lexa had no mercy. She was sucking on Clarke's clit so hard that the girl could see stars. She holds her girlfriend's head to make sure she doesn't stop licking and sucking her. She thrusts her body against Lexa's mouth, asking for more._

_"Please Lexa, please..." her voice is husky, she moans so soft it made Lexa's pussy clench. Lexa craves her teeth on Clarke's swollen clit, making the girl arch her back and scream of pleasure._

A sunray from the window shines Clarke's sweaty forehead. Instead of waking up, she just closes her eyes even tighter, licking her dry lips and reaching her arm on the other side of the bed. Lexa isn't there.

"What the?!"

She opens her eyes, still struggling to breath normally. Clarke looks around the room, hoping she could see Lexa and beg her to make the dream she just had real. She realizes that the curtain was purposely opened in a way that the light was going straight to her face.

"Oh, fuck my life."

* * *

"Your horse is so beautiful" Clarke has her hands behind her back as she gets closer to Octavia.

"I know, right?" the girl pets the animal, then she looks at Clarke and smiles "I love this little one."

Clarke shrugges and fake a laugh.

"Yeah, yeah. Hey, did you tell Lexa to act like the dick I know she isn't last night?"

Octavia's face expresses pure joy.

"Oh no, she didn't."

"Yes, she did. And she had no idea what she was talking about."

A couple of seconds of silence happens. The brunette blinks slowly.

"Neither did I, Octavia" Clarke shakes her head in disapproval and frowns "Neither did I."

"She asked for help, I was just trying to be a good friend" Octavia snorts, getting her attention back to her horse.

"Bitch, you made her feel so embarrassed. That was so sad to see."

Octavia was ready to get on top of her horse but she was struck by an ironic sympathy.

"Oh my Gosh," she turns to Clarke and holds her hand near her chest "is she ok?"

Clarke narrows her eyes. She opens her mouth to talk back but she takes a deep breath instead.

"I really don't feel like including you when it comes to my sexual life, but Lexa came to you and trusted you somehow. And now," she stops and looks around, there were some people, so she lowers her voice "thanks to  _you_ , she won't put out."

"I doubt it, you _sneeze_ and Heda opens her legs" Octavia's voice is way too loud. Clarke pinches her arm "The fuck, Clarke?!" Octavia pinches her back and they start to pinch each other.

"Ok! Stop!" Clarke finally says, rubbing her arm, after realizing Octavia is too good on  _every-fucking-thing._

"You two are not my problem, and it's not my fault that everybody can hear how Raven and I are good in bed" Octavia winks and gets on top of her horse. She looks down at the blonde with an arched eyebrow. "Anything else, princess? It's almost noon and I got places to be."

Clarke snorts and Octavia smiles, she squeezes her horse slightly with both her feet. The blonde watches her in silent while she leaves.

"Smooth bitch..." she whispers to herself  "OH GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE" Clarke shouts. Someone nearby stifles a laugh. She looks at him, pointing her finger "Did you get that?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

 


	3. Chapter 3

"And I was _this_ close, Indra" Lexa puts her index finger and her thumb near each other with one hand, while the other guides her horse "to get her all over me. And I failed. Then she tried to have sex with me, and I failed again" she says and looks up to the sky. "Maybe my spirit wants me to have a slow death."

Indra rolls her eyes, trying her best to pretend she isn't listening anymore. They were leading some guards from a patrol back to the camp and all that Indra could think about was some spare time to heal her ears after a 5 hour long walk with their horses back to the camp and Lexa talking about Clarke all the time.

 _Clarke._ Just the fact she is thinking about this name makes her roll her eyes again.

"…Or maybe I should give it a second try. There shall be no victory before harsh training."

"I think Heda could use some of your power to get your needs fulfilled. You both have mutual interests, that's not a problem. And you're the one who wears the pants after all, I presume" Indra's voice is the definition of bored, her eyes fixed on their path ahead. Lexa looks at her.

"Don't be stupid Indra,"  the commander says it harshly, almost spitting. "We both wear pants. You blind?"

"Look, the camp is ahead!" Indra smiles big, ignoring the fact that Lexa is still looking mad at her.

As soon as they enter the camp, Lexa gets off her horse and her heart smiles. She looks around and she gets happy with the scene. It seems that peace would finally land upon their world and somehow everybody could feel it. The sky was getting orange and the sunset looked simply gorgeous. She observes some people working with a smile on their faces, some were enjoying time with friends and relatives, some kids passed nearby running and laughing, some bitch was braiding Clarke's amazing hair, some birds were...

"What?"

She looks again to try to recognize the woman interacting with Clarke. It is a pretty woman, she is talking to the blonde while gently passing her fingers through her hair, Clarke's sitting by a camp fire, they are laughing and having fun together, apparently. Lexa instinctively puts her hand on her sword.

" _Heda_ , no" Indra quickly puts her hand on the commander's shoulder. Lexa looks at Indra with the corner of her eye, her nostrils opening wide as she tried to breath herself to calmness.

"You're right. I shall accept my fate. Which is rejected. I'll get some rest" she looks at her friend "Goodbye, Indra" she blinks and turns around slowly, making her way to her tent.

Indra follows her with her eyes, Lexa gives Clarke and the woman one last look before entering the tent, but Clarke was still oblivious from all that drama, making Lexa bite her lower lip to avoid a pout.

"Should we celebrate our enemy's retreat? With the alcohol and shit?" some warrior whispers to the other, he makes a noise with his mouth when he realizes the sentence had rhymed and hi-fived the other. They are all still on their horses, watching Lexa's previous drama.  
  
Indra turns to them quickly.

"Fuck-, yes, please now."

* * *

After a while the party outside had started, Clarke realizes that Lexa isn't between the warriors and the people. Or at least she couldn't spot her. She frowns, looking up to meet Niylah's face.

"Is it almost done? I need to see Lexa."

"Yeah..." says the woman, who is actually just pretending to do Clarke's hair because the braid was done hours ago "Just a little bit more. Gosh your hair... Is so cool. I wish I could be here forever, you know. You can come to me to braid your hair anytime."

"Oh cool ok thanks" she looks at all those people again, trying to find Lexa.

"Tell me once again about the time you slayed the Mountain Men" she puts her hands on Clarke's shoulder, making the blonde turn her head.

"Niylah shut up please and get this done."

* * *

"Babe?"

Clarke enters Lexa's tent after being warned that the commander was unwilling to attend the party. She finds a Lexa with no war paint on the face, hair without any braids, dressed on a black top and long skirt laying on the bed with her hands resting upon her belly. There are some candles around, making all the scene a little bit more creepy. Apparently Lexa is thinking that the ceiling is very interesting, since she didn't look at Clarke for a second since she got in.

"Babe, who died?" the blonde sits on the bed and holds one of Lexa's hands, caressing her soft skin with her thumb.

"You don't want me anymore, Clarke."

"What? Lexa, I'm here."

"I saw you with the other one. Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about" Lexa finally looks at Clarke, blinking slowly "You're going to be happy with her. Have two kids, Micah and Eros, they'll be blonde just like you, Clarke. Lovely kids. They'll call me auntie  _Heda_ and laugh at my face."

Clarke's heart melts. It is too cute to handle when Lexa overreacts to nothing when she is jealous.

"There's no one for me but you, you know that" she raises her eyebrows.  
  
"Don't forget to invite me to your wedding. I hope you both go down on each other with very lovely words"

Clarke closes her eyes for a moment.

"So done" she stands up, but Lexa continues.

"You should go. Keep your woman warm. Keep her safe. Tell her I said Hello" Lexa looks at the ceiling again "Actually no. Don't tell her anything."

"Do you see this braid? " Clarke turns her head a little bit to show Lexa "this took me a couple of  _4 fucking hours_  just to look good for you. So you're getting this fine ass out of this bed and party with me."

Lexa quickly raises her body and sits on the edge of the bed. She rests her hands together on her lap, her posture is so correct it makes Clarke smile. She is such a dork.

"What about your wife? Will she be there?" Lexa turns her face away and it makes Clarke smile ever bigger.

"She _will_  be" Clarke's response makes Lexa smirk. She reaches her hand to the commander "Come on, I want to get drunk."

 

**Author's Note:**

> So, I am posting this old fic again because it bothered me the way I wrote it in the past. I got inspired to write this one after watching a couple of Clexa crack videos and this is what I came up with. Hope it made you smile a little bit. Also, leave comments or kudos if you liked it!
> 
> Also, here's my brand new tumblr, you can follow for more fics and updates: http://loupagneau.tumblr.com/


End file.
